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Facts about Love and Approval Addiction

Many people immediately think about drug abuse when they hear the word addiction. In reality, however, the type of addiction that is prevalent in our society these days is love and approval addiction. It seems that many individuals are hinging their happiness not on themselves but on the approval and attention they get from other people.

Majority of people who are addicted to love and approval are not really aware that they are suffering from this problem. Worse, they do not even understand what this type of addiction is all about. To determine if you are one of the many people who are afflicted by this condition, you should answer the questions below.

* Is your happiness and wellbeing dependent on your getting love from another individual?
* Is it impossible for you to make yourself happy?
* Is the approval and affection from other people what gives you self esteem and makes you feel adequate and lovable?
* Do you believe that rejection from other people is an indication that you are not worthy or good enough?
* Do you believe you will die if you are alone?
* Do you believe that other people are the ones who have the say about how you should feel? Such that if somebody cares about you, it would be impossible for that person to hurt or upset you?
* Is your best feeling derived from how other people or a particular person treats and sees you?
* Do you rely on other people's approval to make you feel good about yourself?
* Do you believe that the reason why you are upset is another person's fault?
* Don't you have any say about your feelings? Do you believe that other people are responsible for making you feel sad, happy, depressed, angry, or shut down? Do you believe that when you are angry, the person responsible for making you feel that way should also be the one to get your sentiments straightened out?
* Do you feel that you are nothing if you are not connected or linked to another person?
* Do you believe that your behavior is caused by other people? Do other people make you act crazy, get sick, cry, laugh, get violent, fail, succeed, or leave? Do you believe that it is a sign of selfishness if other people do what they want instead of doing what you desire?
* Do you think that it would be impossible for you to handle your pain, particularly the one caused by rejection, disapproval, or abandonment?

If you answered yes to at least one of these questions, there is a huge possibility that you are indeed suffering from the love and approval addiction. Being addicted to approval or love is something that is difficult to handle and experience. Since no matter what you do you cannot please everyone, you will be in a constant state of despair, depression and low self worth. You will have the compulsion to say and do the right thing just so you can get the stamp of approval and love that you crave for. Your feelings will also be in disarray because you can be in an all-time high at one time and super depressed in another. You are like a leech drawing your energy and happiness from other people. If there is no one to supply you with your need for love and approval, you will start to wither away or, worse, feel angry and violent.

Reason Behind your Love and Approval Addiction

Self abandonment is the root cause of addiction to love and approval. To illustrate, you have to think of your feelings as your inner spirit or core. People who are addicted to approval and love hand over the responsibility of taking care of their inner core or spirit to others. If you are a sufferer of this type of addiction, you do not have a say about your own happiness because you have given away that right to other individuals. Since you have not taken responsibility of your inner spirit or core, you have not learned how to rely on yourself for your own happiness, love and approval. Unfortunately, you cannot have adequate love, affection and approval from other people. No one but yourself can have the responsibility of honing and caring for your inner spirit. Self abandonment almost always results to depression because of low self worth.

People who are afflicted with this condition always scrape the barrel for approval and love from the outside. The ironic thing about this situation is that people try to beg for love but they are not aware that such feeling is abundant in the universe. Love is something that is within us and at the same time all around us. If only people learn to open their hearts to their inner spirit and core, they will not feel the emptiness left by other people. Once you have mastered filling your heart with self love, inner happiness and peace, you cannot help but let the positive feelings overflow and infect other people. Instead of asking and begging for love, you should aspire to give love to others.

It is worth noting that seeking happiness, contentment and love from sources other than yourself is bound for failure and depression. However, if you start to rely on yourself to nurture that inner love, respect and approval, you will learn to accept yourself for who you are and who you can be in the future. Do not think that loving and accepting yourself is an easy path. It can also be difficult especially because our society has been teaching us to be dependent on other people like friends and family to give us the happiness that we need. But if you only persevere and let yourself learn and practice the steps to inner bonding, you will surely find healing from all your past hurts and disappointments. In time, you will be able to affirm that you are no longer addicted to love and approval from others.

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